Five problems with social media:
- It’s distracting. It is hard to be productive when you spend your time tweeting. Before social media, people were so much more productive; before the 21st century, before all of these technological distractions, the world advanced at a much more rapid pace . . . right?
- It enables people to post whatever. they. want. Personally, I like my people like I like my coffee: quiet and un-empowered. Social media really pushes the boundaries of “freedom of speech.” It’s one thing to guarantee the right to it under the law; it’s another thing for it to be legit accessible to people of all races, genders, socioeconomic statuses, national origins, and ages.
- It’s so political these days. Political information should come from one place and one place only: The Capital-M Media. If I want political updates or analysis, I’ll turn on CNN or Fox (or, god, maybe I’ll pick up a newspaper . . . nah). Diverse perspectives are overrated.
- It keeps people glued to their screens. I see it every day: people on the bus, in a line, at the grocery store, eyes fixated on their iPhones. It’s just too much. I fall prey to this myself; the other day, for example, I found myself on Facebook during the movie preview previews (the weird commercials that come on before the actual previews). So ridiculous. All I was doing was catching up with friends who live on other continents, reading articles about Rosa Parks, and doing a little guerrilla marketing. I should have been watching the local retirement home ads that were running. Ugh.
- One word: #HASHTAGS. So apparently hashtags are meant to organize information—which, okay, #icangetdownwiththat. But the super-long, non-organizational hashtags? Nonsense. Is nothing in this world purely #utilitarian anymore? The English language has no room to accommodate more rhetorical innovation. Leave well enough alone; beauty comes from the status quo. Also, “hashtag”? Really? #poundsignforever